It is impossible to be completely transparent all of the time. People, in fact, dislike that kind of openness. Yes, they expect/try to make you visible, but only if it suits what they want to see.
When someone asks you to be honest about something, you want to hear the truth. However, if you repeat the same question again, he or she may be hesitant to respond.
For instance, why did you quit your former position? Will you respond to the question? You're now in an interview. What are your thoughts? Were you too sluggish? If you do not provide a sensible, unbiased (and phony) explanation for your resignation, your application will be discarded without further consideration. As a result, your response will be favorable to them.
On a more prescriptive note, there will always be someone who will be offended if you tell him you disagree with him on anything. They don't like to be transparent, I was informed at first.
What is the significance of this? It's enough for me to be myself with my closest friends and family. I don't need everyone to see, know, and know about me in order for me to share my views, ideas, life, and everything.
People expect you to be upfront, open, and honest, but they then use it against you.
When I hear the term "transparent," I think of someone whose goals are plainly known, who cannot conceal their feelings, and so on. That is always interpreted negatively by me.
Being open is, of course, a positive thing, but being "transparent" implies the subject's attempt, but failure, to conceal their innermost workings. They're not being intentionally dishonest; they're simply bad liars. It seems to be insulting to me. I wouldn't use this term to characterize an open individual.
When individuals ask this question, they usually imply that there is no filter between their head and their lips. And, no, it's not acceptable. People's dumb and thoughtless statements spark wars and damage lives. My mother taught me a simple guideline that has served me well: If you can't say anything pleasant, don't say anything at all.
It is conceivable that the manner in which you say something is more essential than the content of what you say.
If you must be negative, attempt to be constructive in your wording. Make an improved idea. Play it down a notch. "What do you think?" is another option. People who want you to say something terrible about them often just want to be validated. Shifting it on them holds them accountable for the conclusion they've already formed, rather than making you the bad guy.
Others have advised you to be yourself for a reason. I'll teach you a few methods to become more mysterious, but they may not be what you're looking for. You seem to be a really honest person. That is why your emotions are visible on your face. Hiding how you feel might be beneficial at times, but it will always harm you on the inside. Anyway, here's how you can keep your thoughts and feelings hidden.
1-Be careful not to over-communicate. Be a quiet observer. Before saying anything, ask yourself, "Why am I telling them this?" What benefit will it have for me? Is it really important for the other half to understand what I'm going to say? Will they be able to take advantage of it?
Also, respond to queries with brief phrases, simply giving them what you need to tell them. Remember that you are never required to respond to a question. You may respond with a different version of it, or you can respectfully decline to answer. (Unless it's the cops that are interrogating you...)
2-Exercise "not caring." Is it upsetting to you when someone steals something that belongs to you without your permission? Don't break out in a rash of rage. Maintain a poker face and tell them not to take your items in a "official" manner (it suggests authority). You should not say anything like, "Oh, buddy. Stop taking my stuff without informing me "or anything like that," and instead say something like "Can you kindly not take my items without first asking me?" (You don't want to seem overly official, which would make you appear stupid to your pals.)
3-Experiment with judging your own facial emotions (similar to 2). Substitute "half smiles" for "full grins." Angry glances, with a serious face. Face that is both eager and somewhat cheerful. I caution you that this may have an impact on your overall mood and social connections, but it is useful if you want to appear mysterious. For a time, people may wonder what's wrong with you, but they'll get over it.
4: Don't overdo it with your attire. Wearing too many bright colors is not recommended. Dark hues are a good choice. Your clothing should be as neutral as possible so that your personality, state of mind, or mood are not shown.
5-Reduce your visibility on social media. There are no regular updates or profile pictures. Simply a photo of your face in a neutral setting. Going anonymous on Quora may also help ;)
6-Model yourself after a mystery individual. Almost every TV program has one of them. If you can't bring yourself to do the preceding stages, just choose your favorite mystery TV character and start emulating his manner. I'd propose Hannibal Lecter from the TV show Hannibal (he's a serial murderer and a cannibal, so don't do everything he does). Although some may not consider him a mystery figure, he assumes a new demeanor to seem as a typical and uninteresting man in order to get people off his trail (he's also a murderer, by the way). Taken, starring Liam Neeson, is another solid option.
I'll remind you again that this will damage your life in many ways, and you'll end up sobbing one day because you'll have no friends and no love. If you want to make friends, you must be yourself around them.
Comments
Post a Comment